99 words flash fiction ‘Help’

Hi guys. This is my first flash fiction challenge. The prompt was ‘Helping someone’ link is here. I hope you like it. Please tell me what you think.

I’m sorry

“Get out” she seethes, her fists clenched at her sides “Just go”

I turn and look at her. “Tess” I say my eyes searching her frame for a reaction. “I was just trying to help”.

Nothing. I can see the slow heaving of her shoulders. “Please Tess, listen”.

“No, you listen, from the minute you stepped into it, my life has been a complete wreck, your ‘help’ today could have gotten us all killed. ‘killed’ Do you know what that means?”

“Yes” I answer. Guilt starts to choke me.

“Then get out.”

I turn and walk out the door.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “99 words flash fiction ‘Help’

  1. I like this piece, for I can feel the emotion of how angry Tess is and I love the line of “Guilt starts to choke me” it just ends it well with how sorry they felt after realizing they didn’t really end up helping the situation. It was well written and enjoyable and It makes me want to know more about this story. πŸ™‚

    Like

  2. Hurray! I am so delighted you’ve joined in with this prompt. This piece is great and leaves us with a number of unanswered questions. Something has obviously backfired but we don’t know whether the help was that bad or the receiver just unable to be grateful for the effort.
    Thanks for playing. Do come back and join us at the Carrot Ranch again πŸ˜€

    Like

  3. Great flash fiction piece! I can really feel the emotions both of the character’s are feeling especially through the good use of personification in “Guilt starts to choke me”.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s